Horrible..

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

i picked this quote from Neil Gaiman's the sandman because it perfectly describe how i feel right now.. its supposed to be our 21st monthsary today but i dont feel "happy" or in love or whatever they call it this days.. i dont feel the need to be mushy, the need to blurt out cliche after cliche.. no sirrr! none of that insted i feel sad.. so detached.. so empty.. like everything is a blur.. it feels like i'm floating into nothingness.. what the hell is happening to us?i hate this.the hell with this day.

bye..

2 weeks is so fast..
my rainbow is leaving tom morning..
i'm staying at his house tonight to help him pack..
God, im going to miss him.. He really makes me happy.. he's the only one who can make me laugh when i am so sad.. and he's the only one who will stay up late helping me with my homework.. sigh..

Happiness..

i never knew what happiness really felt like until i saw his face as he opened our door.. i know that i really loved him.. and there's no letting go this time.

shit!

i have a knew respect for the word "shit".
why, well...
it can substitute a lot of word in the dictionary.how so, i heard people talkin'
"really? so are you and your dad tight and all that shit?";
"damnit! you got yourself into that shit..!"
no shit?
"it smells shit in here! "

wow.. no wonder english prof's are requiring us to read a lot.. to learn more words.. hahaha... that's all i got amused eh.. hahaha..

Valentines day and all that shit..

A lot of people in our school are wearing red, i wonder why did they associate the color red with valentines? when i think of the color red, i think of blood, and i associate it with pain, with murder.. (hahaha.. yan nanaman ang utak ko puro patayan.. )enough said.. anyway, seriously, our english prof gave plus 5 for those who are wearing red,i was wearing black. i see couples get this loveydovey faces (get a room people!) and people are all so smiley.. why does people make a big deal out of love? as one person sang.. Your nobody until somebody loves you.. i mean that's lame.. why is it imprinted in people's head that you can be complete with one person. its absurd how they thought of that. its insanity. i wonder who came up with that idea..

Long Distance Relationship

I cant help but wonder if the reason why we are still continuing this relationship is because we dont know or we are both afraid to let each other go.. we are millions of miles away from each other, and it is not likely that we are going to see each other again because of certain circumstances and yet we still continue this realtionship.. so why? why cant i let him go..? what is it that i am afraid of..??

Rob vs Emil

wow.. i cant believe im writing this but i think that my childhood best friend is coming back to me.. through emilio's body.. haha.. they look so much i like.. it makes me miss him more.. too bad he'll never come back to this country.. sigh.. why does he have to look like him.. its so weird.. i just wish my classmate wont think that i have a crush on him.. cause i keep on looking at him.. hahaha... that will be too weird.. =s but they have a lot of in common.. i am so amazed.. wow, its really true.. somewhere out there i look like someone.. hehehhe=p Hey Rob! if you are seeing this, i think you have a doppelganger here.. hahaha.. but dont be freaked out.. he's nice.. not as talkative as you are though=p miss you!

RAGE...

My sister got upset by my father and wrote that poem..

Beneath me lies a wounded soul,

where no one dare sees,

restricted to my own world,

by a strict hand, grasping me so tightly,

that i have no choice but to obey,

just a small whimper from me,

and i'll be crushed with resentful words,

so hurtful..

that i have become strong with bitterness