what the hell?!

so i fucked up big time..what was going through my mind when i did that i would never know..i really messed up!
i'm such a loser.. i feel like i betrayed someone's trust.. i feel like one of those people i hate most.. i felt like a backstabber.. when i got home from work.. i wasnt able to sleep nor eat.. i keep thinking what have i done? what the hell was wrong with me? i know, i know your thinking i'm such a melodramatic lady.. but no! i'm not over reacting.. i did a stupid thing and now i'm so scared of the consequesnces.. i dont know if i can face what i have done.. and no i didnt kill anyone..but someone might kill me though:-ss
Why do we fucked up? i mean seriously? why are there moments in life in which we dont think of the consequenes our actions might result to? why dont we think ahead? and why am i so scared..my anxiety level is up i cant really handle a big problem.. but it looks like bad luck is on my side cause bad things keep happening every other damned day.. later..